I have this fun toy that gives me yummy treats as I nose it around on the floor. It's a round, lime green orb with moonlike craters so I can pick it up and transport it directly to the spot I want.
Me and my orb of treats!
Here's the problem. As I'm romping through the house with the treat orb at my nose and scarfing up the yummies as soon as they pop out, there are times I bump it in to the sofa and one of the little treats gets lost underneath. Not good. I have little paws that can't quite reach under the sofa and as soon as I start digging the floor to tunnel my way to rescue lost treat, my adopted parents will stop me and expect that I'll be cool about leaving lost treat under sofa and just go on my merry way.
I may act cool, but inside I'm thinking about it all the time. All those missing treats. What happens to them? Who gets them? It's enough to keep me up at night.
Then one day, I watched in horror as mommy pulled out the sofa and there were all of my M.I.A. treats! And what does she do? VACUUMS THEM UP!! How could she?
So now, I'm more careful. And I try to sneak in when she's vacuuming to snatch up my treats before she can get to them.
Because puppy treats are good, but eating them is better.
Oh, woe is me. I just managed to survive a most harrowing experience. It's happened several times in the past and always without warning. Although, I am in serious doubt whether I can survive another event like this.
Today, when mommy and daddy got home from work, I carefully positioned myself as the super watchdog, peering first from a corner through the gate to be sure it's friend and not foe! Then I jumped up with my front paws and gave them my usual greeting which consists of wiggling my whole body (especially my nub tail), and generally acting giddy and mildly out of control. You should see how excited they get.
Anyway, back to my horrifying experience. So here I am, busy being Superdog and chasing the bad guys like the trash can and mom's huge purse. Then, when I least expect it, my whole furbod is lifted up and perched atop the bathroom sink as mommy treats my super sensory ears, then (and this is the scary part!), she actually puts me in the TUB!
How embarrassing!
Next thing I know, the water comes on and I'm it's target! The rest of the experience is a mix of suds and water. All I can say is I try to protect myself from this treacherous event by vigorously protesting, but it never works. As often as it has happened in my short life, you'd think I'd be used to this unwarranted activity.
Well, I'm not. Mommy and daddy call it a bath. I call it unnecessary trauma.
I am Super Pemby! With powers even I do not fully understand. And I can fly, too! At least between the sofa and the loveseat! That may not seem like much, but in that brief moment, a red cape unfurls from my shoulders, I feel the wind in my ears and I know I am invincible.
Of course, with these super pemby powers comes an important responsibility. I am the defender of my home from all bad guys. Like the other day, I discovered this plastic mult-colored, semi-opaque placemat. Now, you may think it was harmless and mommy sure acted like it was supposed to be something useful. But with my penetrating optical super powers, I alone could detect this was an alien lifeforce that must be conquered.
The Pounce Maneuver!
At once, I barked. And loudly, too. This was a first warning. When it would not leave, I then pounced repeatedly on the miscreant. Oh, it put up a fight, all right. Sliding all over the place, the wimp. But I was relentless in my pursuit and eventually apprehended placemat.
It's still here, but it now exists under my control. Super Pemby Power saves the day. Again.
