as printed in the Winter 2008/2009 edition of The New BarkerI’m not covering for her anymore. Rosie is addicted to FDTV (Front Door Television) and when that’s not available, she resorts to the Wide Screen window-worldview where she keeps watch for lizards, squirrels, birds and any other animals of interest. She always talks about how some day she’s going to catch her own critter. Yadda yadda yadda.
But, the other day, she took things a step further. Rosie managed to smuggle a dried up, dead, but otherwise perfect specimen of a frog into the house. She showed it to me and immediately, her "cool factor" went up a solid notch.
What a find! Oh sure, shriveled up vermin are everywhere, but this prize was invaluable! She wanted a pet…or a dessert…(it's hard to tell sometimes) and carried it around with her from room to room and even curled up to sleep with it at nap time.
Her big mistake was taking her bragging rights too far. Mommy saw her rounding the corner with this blackened trophy in her mouth and, BUSTED! At first, mommy acted all grossed out. But, after she recovered, this little piece of contraband (who knew?) was finally retrieved, and after close inspection, we were all sufficiently impressed there was not so much as a single munch mark on the blackened carcass. Uh, oh…I really hope this isn't a sign of weakness on Rosie's part!
Then mommy made us sit down and told us "never EVER bite a frog" and made us pawmise to leave all frogs, dead or alive alone forever after. She was really being all serious and stuff, so we each offered our forepaws and shook on the agreement. Then to seal the deal, mommy gave us each crunchy treats…and a coveted tummy rub...SNAP!
More importantly, Rosie has mastered the skill of sneaking stuff in to the house. My protégé has learned quickly from the master. Well done, grasshopper.
But, the other day, she took things a step further. Rosie managed to smuggle a dried up, dead, but otherwise perfect specimen of a frog into the house. She showed it to me and immediately, her "cool factor" went up a solid notch.
What a find! Oh sure, shriveled up vermin are everywhere, but this prize was invaluable! She wanted a pet…or a dessert…(it's hard to tell sometimes) and carried it around with her from room to room and even curled up to sleep with it at nap time.
Her big mistake was taking her bragging rights too far. Mommy saw her rounding the corner with this blackened trophy in her mouth and, BUSTED! At first, mommy acted all grossed out. But, after she recovered, this little piece of contraband (who knew?) was finally retrieved, and after close inspection, we were all sufficiently impressed there was not so much as a single munch mark on the blackened carcass. Uh, oh…I really hope this isn't a sign of weakness on Rosie's part!
Then mommy made us sit down and told us "never EVER bite a frog" and made us pawmise to leave all frogs, dead or alive alone forever after. She was really being all serious and stuff, so we each offered our forepaws and shook on the agreement. Then to seal the deal, mommy gave us each crunchy treats…and a coveted tummy rub...SNAP!
More importantly, Rosie has mastered the skill of sneaking stuff in to the house. My protégé has learned quickly from the master. Well done, grasshopper.
