And to make matters worse, there was a sea monster in there,
too! Its face was this fizzing nozzle
that sprayed water all over me…and it wasn’t by accident, either. Nope. Mom
took aim, dousing me with one long spray of water after another and mistook my
stunned reaction to this hideous ritual as enjoyment!
Without hesitation, I broke free and scampered, my paws
sliding every which way, to the edge of the tub in search of freedom. With all my puppy might, I tried to pull
myself up out of that evil tub away from that sea monster; I even folded back
my ears to maximize my aerodynamic exit.
But, somehow mommy’s arm came out of nowhere and transported me right
back to the middle of the torture chamber.
I was then soaked from nose to nub with this icky watery
lather. Now, I will confess that at
this point, there was a full body massage, which was kinda nice…I almost forgot
how terrified I was until that dreaded sea monster returned! After repeated blasts of spraying water,
daddy finally came to my rescue; swooping me out and wrapping me in a warm
towel. This was the first time I realized that a towel existed for something
more than to be chewed on!
The good news was that I had managed to make it through that
evil bathtub monster experience in tact (and
believe me, I checked!). But, the
bad news was this would prove to be only the first of many recurring evil bath
tub events to come.
Let’s be reasonable.
Spring cleaning should not apply to dogs. Does mommy have any clue how long it takes me
to smell like a dog? The process, I have
found, involves searching out just the right combination of decaying lizards
and other malodorous fragrances, which must then be rolled or frolicked in to
achieve this aromatic feat. And all it
takes is one bath and I have to start all over again…trying to smell like a
dog.
