Poos and Wayward Coolers

It’s getting all dark and thundery outside and mom decides to take Rosie and me outside for a “quick potty”. Of course, the first thing we do when we go out is paws, stick our snouts in the wind and get the latest news on who’s been where and what they left behind, if anything. This is essential, and yet mommy insists on interrupting our a-roam-a-therapy session with her prods for us to get down to business.

Well, first of all, this is our business. We are monitoring the entire cul-de-sac for friend and foe; all mere steps from our front door. In fact, I used my puppy superpowers just the other day when I eyed some scary looking box on our neighbor’s driveway. Without hesitation, I rushed at the offender (keeping a prudent distance, of course), the dog fur on my neck spiked as my super cape unfurled and I barked with intent at that imposter!

Mom kept saying it’s just a cooler, but what she doesn’t know is how dangerous this ‘cooler’ was before I rendered it harmless with my GPS (Guinness Puppy Subwoofer).

So, Rosie and I oblige and do our bit for grass and weed. Now, this is what’s interesting. Mom would not appreciate us gracing her floors with our poos. So, why does she make this big deal about picking up our poos and bringing them INTO the house? Answer that one.

I can’t help but stare with my head tilted and my mouth open in a giant grin as she eagerly scoops up our recently deposited treasures and then rushes in the house with her bagged prize. And mommy thinks our passion for sniffing dead lizards is illogical. At least we don’t bring them in the house (mainly because when we do, she takes them away and we never see them again!).

I just finished rolling in some smelly stuff on the sidewalk and I notice that Rosie is now barking at her pet squirrel that’s just scrambled up the tree. Let’s face it; dogs do stuff that makes sense.

2007 Guinness & Rosie Barkalutions

Guinness and Rosie share with you their dreams of achievement from the bottom of their Canine-American doghearts for the coming year.

Guinness:

2007 will be the year I catch the big one…a duck, that is. Yep. Before I herd it back to the lake I’ll use my super puppy powers to crouch low, sneak up and snag him! I’m not sure what I plan to do with the duck once I have him; probably just ruffle his feathers and let him go. You know, most fowl have no sense of humor. Either way, it’s going to be fun for me!

Rosie:

I’ve got huge plans for this year; I’m going to grow up big and climb trees. Guinness can sniff and read his tree-mail all he wants and judging by the number of tree-mail accounts he has all over the place, I'd say he’s pretty pawpular. Nope, my interest is in tracking one of those snarky squirrels right up in to the tree itself! They're always running around stealing stuff and scrambling up out of reach. Now, I like my petrified frog and my nearly dead limping lizard; but my goal is to get a pet squirrel to chase around by the lakeside. Who knows? Maybe we could even have a squirrel tossing contest…those bushy tails have to be good for something!?

Together, we wish you tummy rubs every morning and a dog treat on your puppy pillow every night. May you enjoy the very best in 2007.

Merry Christmas from Guinness & Rosie

Thanksgiving is over and boy was it yummy
With big bites of turkey that filled up our tummy!
With Uncle Greg, Cousin Tango and Daddy we played
We ran and we rooed, then we called it a day!

The best part of Christmas is the late morning snooze,
In a big bed with mommy and daddy and Roo,
Under blankets and pillows the Roo and I dream
Of huge slabs of turkey and sautéed green beans!

So if your holidays seem to race by like a blur
And your invites all start with Dear Madam or Sir,
No matter how formal the dress codes may hail,
As Pembrokes, remember for us there’s no tails!

Have a very Corgi Christmas and a Pawsperous New Year!

Party Animals

When Rosie and I hopped in the backseat for a ride, little did we know mommy was taking us to a big dog party! There were dogs everywhere and the only thing I could surmise is that they were here to see me because of my puppy super powers and to meet the Diva Roo in person. This kind of thing happens all the time.

We were busy greeting everyone with a nose to nose ‘hello’ when we discovered a unique benefit to partying with the big dogs; Rosie and I could cruise by being all cool and catch a sniff with nothing more than a casual turn of our snouts!

But, the best part was the dog treats...they were everywhere! Me and the Roo scarfed down as many crunchy pup-munchies as we could get and the liver treats were yummy enough to make us smack our chops…Snap!

Mom says it was a fundraiser for the SPCA. All I have to say is it was one fur-tastic soiree!

Rain, Rain...Go Away!

The Roo is back! Guinness is doing his doga stretches so this Diva Roo decided to take matters in to her own paws.

It's summertime and hot. When we go to the DP (mom's code for dog park), we bark and paw at the gate until it opens...then the race is on! A fence chase with the big dogs is always riveting. But, in the summertime, three or four chases is all we can manage until we have to gulp down some water and find a shady spot in the dirt to plop down.

Lately, right around prime duck herding hour, it starts to rain. Big "roo" on THAT. Mommy seems quite happy with the rain for the grass and stuff. But I ask you; what about the ducks? So every afternoon, I lay by the FDTV (front door television) and stare out at the drops of water eating away at my chase time and wonder...where are the ducks?
Surely they miss me as much as I miss them. I have a turbo charged 4 speed quadro-ped engine just waiting for some action! When I'm at full tilt, my bunny-butt can compete with the best of them! And when we marshal the lakeside, no fowl dares hesitate.

So I chew on my bone and wait. Then the rain stops. Snap! Let the herding begin!

The Thrill of the Kill

Our adopted parents have this strange illuminated screen they sit and stare at rather intently while their fore-paws are tapping away at a keyboard. How completely boring. Especially, when they could be busy doing things of infinitely higher importance.

Such as a tummy rub for me…or a good scratch behind the ears…followed by a tummy rub (I’m flexible!). I nudge them with my nose, even roll on my back, but a quick pat on the head is all I get. So, I leave and return with one of my many projects: a squeak toy that is in need of a good de-squeaking.

You see, Rosie and I have power chompers. That’s right, we are uniquely qualified in this talent. We can fix the squeaking problem of most any toy; plastic or stuffed. If it squeaks, our power chompers are primed and ready at a moments notice to thrash, tug, chew and pull apart every part of that toy to get to the problem causing the squeak and remove it.

No matter how tough the toy or how much it resists, we always get our squeaker. Mommy must appreciate our precisely honed skill as she is always bringing home more of these intact toys in dire need of disemboweling. In fact, there’s only one thing that feels better than ripping the stuffing out of our victim (for medical reasons only, of course!). That’s right!

It’s the thrill of the kill!

The Roo Speaks

Guinness agreed that it was time that I addressed my fans and friends out there. I am known, of course as the Diva Dog, the Golden Roo Child, and the Drama Queen...and I'm cute, too! Now, you may get the impression that I'm the impetuous little sister that likes to lay in wait to ambush my unsuspecting big brother and take his toys, etc.…and that’s kinda true.

Except…well, there’s so much more to it than that!

Why be only one dimensional when it comes to picking on your big brother? I’m talking strategy and being sneaky and stuff like that. Like waiting until Guinness is sprawled out in one of his big puppy stretches and he’s trying to look irresistible for mommy or daddy…then, like a tiger, I come racing out of nowhere and pounce right on his belly! ROO!

Or, if Guinness is showing off by using his super puppy powers to fly and catch the Frisbee, I’ll be waiting for him to nip his furry little bottom when he lands, then try to take ownership of the Frisbee!

Oh, and by the way taking his stuff is one thing…charming my way in to keeping his stuff, is just brilliant, don’t you think?

Of course, he doesn't always appreciate my sense of humor, but there’s usually a good round of puppy smackdown that follows any of my pranks, so my ornery and frequently spirited attitude of play has its mutual rewards.

All in all though, Guinness is my best bud in the whole world. We hunt squirrels, herd ducks and sniff dead lizards together...all activities mommy and daddy refuse to partake in.

Here’s a ROO out to everyone reading this blog!

I’ll be back!

Let Sleeping Dogs Lie

Dog naps are one of the true perks in the canine kingdom. The real trick is to always keep one eye kinda open in case something interesting happens...like a people food morsel drops to the floor or your little sister tries to sneak up on you for a surprise attack. These are things you should always be prepared for, naps notwithstanding.

I think the Roo is dreaming of licking out that last bit of her peanut butter Kong. There's nothing like a yummy treat and then a good long nap. She likes to cuddle with daddy every chance she gets, too.

I like a good cuddle, too but not for too long. I have super puppy powers to think about and I can't risk getting my cape all wrinkly and stuff.

Honeymoon Island

I have this theory. When Daddy and Mommy tell us they are leaving for 'work', that must be like a dog park for humans! Yep. They probably go and chase Frisbees and roll on the ground all day long. Then we get to go with them on the weekends. Of course, the other possibility is that they are really going to the groomers for a bath....ugh! What a horrible thought...a bath every day!? Perish the thought!

The other morning, Rosie and I went for a ride to the dog park...or so we thought! Daddy and Mommy were chatting away and before we knew it, we were there...but there wasn't there...it was here and here was somewhere completely different!

Then we saw our cousin, Casey and oh, boy the fun started right away! We strolled through the park area taking in all the dog sniffs we could get away with and met lots of other canines. Then, we snarfed up treats and sported our totally cool bandanas for the Humane Society.

But the most awesome part was the beach. This was a first for Casey, Rosie and me. When Daddy showed me what looked like dreaded bath water coming to take us all away...I barked at it until it retreated, then walked away knowing I had saved the world once again.

It came back.

At that point, I was determined to become it's nemesis, which would require my full super puppy power skills and the official unfurling of my cape to conquer this relentless adversary.

Of course, while I was wrestling with my rival, Rosie and Casey enjoyed a good game of chase. Then Daddy played Frisbee with all of us and we reveled in the sand until we dropped.

Rosie fell asleep on the way home. She and the rest of the world can sleep blissfully, now that the threat of the evil beach water has been vanquished.

It's called Honeymoon Island, but we call it a puppy's paradise!

A Brush with the Fairy-Dogmother

Rosie demonstrating the power of FDTV

One day last week, while the Roo was watching FDTV (Front Door Television) and I was sprawled out on my back in my classic doga pose, "Share It With The World"; mommy was rummaging about in some box that seemed rather important to her.

Without warning, she snapped out this baggie clearly labeled, "Rosie's Puppy Teeth".

Well. Let me tell you. Thank goodness Rosie can't read, yet. I thought, self, be cool and no harm done. Right?

But, no. Mommy then proceeds to proudly display her find and announce to daddy that Rosie's baby teeth were so much smaller than mine. Duh?

By now, Rosie's attention had been diverted from the FDTV and she is now cocking her little head clockwise, then counter-clockwise, then back again - all the while staring at the baggie.

Rosie wondering what prize mommy has found!

The Fairy-Dogmother is a serious right of passage for all puppies. I remember mommy taking every tooth as Rosie lost them, placing them under Rosie's pillow at night and the hyper-Roo actually stayed really still and slept all night so that in the morning...the Fairy-Dogmother would leave a dog biscuit in place of the puppy tooth.

Oh, sure, she'd take her biscuit and parade around and show off; but it was hers and she earned it.

Damage Control Alert!!! I knew I had to do something, and quick!

I immediately sprang into action and quickly nosed her ear with one of her favorite tug toys and she took off after me - we enjoyed a puppy smack down until mommy started digging in to some other box. Whew. Another bullet dodged.

Me giving Rosie a "pre-smackdown" distraction

The Fairy-Dogmother's tail should be preserved.

Mini-Me...or SHE?

Have you ever looked at someone and felt like you were looking at a mirror of yourself? You have? Really? Well, I can't say that I have. But listen to this...the other day mommy comes in from work and daddy isn't with her. WHAT? No frisbee time!? So not cool. Mom throws like a girl. Big surprise there. In situations like these...you skip the Frisbee and go for a treat. Mom's a softie.

After the Roo and I sumptously feasted on our kibble and had a good round of puppy smack down (for mommy's entertainment, of course), daddy came home...with HER! When I beheld Casey's perky ears, mascara rimmed blue eyes and nubby tail, it was dogbreath-taking! Who was this mysterious canine creature of lovliness that looked just like...a mini-me!?

Me with Rosie and Casey with her parents
(my Uncle and Auntie) David and Bridget

Oh, no! Casey's a SHE! Well, being the debonaire dog of wonder that I am, I introduced myself with a quick sniff to her tiny, fluffy Corgi behind. But, before I could proceed you know who (the ROO!) shoves her little face in there between me and my subject du jour, grabs a good whiff and proceeds to take over!

How RUDE! But, Casey seemed to love it! I couldn't believe it. Rosie even took her from room to room showing her all MY toys (like they belong to her!). Then they played Rosie's favorite game "catch me if you can" and little Casey raced as fast as her short legs could carry her! Mommy was saying it's Rosie's motherly instincts, but I say she's just a glory hound.

Casey and Me acting cool with the Glory "Roo" Hound

Before the night was over, Casey and I did mingle a bit, compared notes and then she fell asleep in the same puppy bed I had when I was her age. She looked so peaceful.

Casey taking a snooze in my old puppy bed

We were sad when she went home with her adopted parents. But, some day I'm going to reveal my true identity as the Super Power Pup and show her my cape and all.

Some day.

Just a Waft is all We Ask

When Rosie and I take mommy for a walk by the lake, she doesn't always seem to fully appreciate the time it takes for us to thoroughly sniff the grass, trees and other odd and sometimes smelly and/or damp items we happen to discover.

At a moments notice, I can burrow my snout so deep in the right spot in the grass and take a deep whiff...ahhhh...but it's not long before I'm being shoved aside by the "Roo" and my find has now gone public.

Ah, but for that brief moment, it was all mine.

And the lake has all these ducks that need to be herded. It's the wildest coincidence that Rosie and I happen to be the smallest of the herding breed! When I see those feathered upstarts feasting about on crumbs, I feel emboldened by my calling and chase them back to the water where they belong...mission accomplished.

Me with my Protege...a Duck chase is in the offing!

Then, there's a roster of canines that have registered with individual trees that must be reviewed. Sniff. Review. Sniff. Of course, I must add my signature of approval. This is an important part of my job as a dog with superpowers. Being a girl, Rosie doesn't get to add her signature, but she can sniff and wish.

Can you believe that sometimes mommy starts pulling on our leash like what I'm doing is not essentially significant to the peaceful coexistence of man and beast worldwide? I hope she remembers this the next time mommy sniffs a tree or dead lizard or some other delightfully putrid substance.

The Rules of Engagement

There are certain rules that should be understood. Playing tug-a-war with Rosie and the fleece rope is pretty simple. I pull, she pulls, I pull harder, she growls and yanks; you get the idea. Not a game that requires a high IQ or much strategy. Just a good deal of stamina.

However, put mommy or daddy on the other end of that rope and everything changes. First of all, I'd like to state that this is MY rope that we're talking about here. (If you cannot appreciate the significance of that statement, please refer to the "Diva Dog" post, just previous.)

The ownership issue aside, it should be pointed out that a rope tug-a-war is a one-ended battle. I mean, really. How bad does mommy really want my toy? Now, Rosie's a different story. The little "Roo" (one of her many annoyingly cute nicknames - gag!), will throw down in the worst way to win control of the rope. She'll even lay across said rope to ensure I can't sneak in and reclaim it when she's taking one of her afternoon snoozes.

Oh yeah? Well, little "Roo", just so you know, the higher the chomp, the bigger the thrill! Oh sure, you can swing around for the ride if you want, but the real toss happens closest to daddy's paw. He's real big and strong and when he starts up the game, you'd better get a good grip and hang on! I've been personally known to go completely airborne to snag the highest point of clampage. Believe me, it's impressive to see.

the www.guinnessthedog.com/webcam.html

LIVE webcam captures my incredible talent for all to see!

What worries me and keeps me up at night is the thought that what Rosie lacks in size, she'll make up for in sheer boldness! She doesn't care about the rules of engagement. Oh, no. Rosie believes in RULING the engagement!

Diva Dog

Daddy told me that Rosie's relatives are champions. Kind of like movie stars. They win all these cool trophies and people show up from all over the world to watch them in the show ring. So I guess Rosie comes by her little Diva Dog attitude honestly.

For instance, she has two crates. Actually one of them is mine, but she thinks it's hers. It's like she has her private little apartment in the laundry room and then the (my) penthouse out in the kitchen when she wants to see and be seen. It's not that I want to use it - I'm scared to death of the thing. But, she just hops in there anytime she pleases without so much of a care.

And what's worse is she snags my bacon bone when I'm not looking and retreats to MY crate where she knows I won't go to get it back. Oh yeah. And she hoards my favorite toys in there, too.

Diva Dog in (my) crate with (my) stuff!

I've tried barking and even whining at her to give my stuff back. But she just blinks those big, brown eyes at me like she thinks she's cute or something. Not.

Every so often, mom goes in and gets everything out of there and I quickly try and re-confiscate all that I can, but it's never long before Rosie eyes something of mine as she swaggers through the house and then it starts all over again.

One day I'm going to be a big dog and I will be able to to use my superdog-mind powers to get my stuff back. Until then, I'll just have to be at the top of my game and hope this little Diva Dog makes a mistake.

Rosie's Little Hopper

The other day, Rosie managed to smuggle a dried up, dead, but otherwise perfect specimen of a frog into the house. She showed it to me and immediately, her “cool factor” went up a solid notch.

What a find! Oh sure, shriveled up vermin are everywhere, but this prize was invaluable! She wanted a pet…or a dessert…(it’s hard to tell sometimes) and carried it around with her from room to room and even curled up to sleep with it at nap time.

Her big mistake was taking her bragging rights too far. Mommy saw her rounding the corner with this blackened trophy in her mouth and, BUSTED! At first, mommy acted all grossed out. But, after she recovered, this little piece of contraband (who knew?) was finally retrieved, and we were all sufficiently impressed there was not so much as a single munch mark on the carcass.

How did she do that? You should see when Rosie savagely disembowels a stuffed toy to get to the squeaker; pillows of fluff are everywhere – yet, this dead frog remained intact? Hope this isn’t a sign of weakness on her part! (For the record, the squeaker removal technique is yet another supreme talent that I’ve passed on to Rosie from personal experience.)

Me Teaching Rosie SRT (Squeaker Removal Technique)

More importantly, Rosie has mastered the skill of sneaking stuff in to the house. My protégé has learned quickly from the master. Good grasshopper.

Beware of Crouching Corgi!

So the other day, I’m trying to instruct Rosie on the finer points of “Dizzy Dog”, (where you flip your opponent on her back and proceed to spin her in a circle on the floor), and all she was interested in was paw-to-paw combat! She actually reared up on her short little hind legs and tried to wrestle me – for real! Ha! I had a good dog laugh over that one. Please. I can hold her at paws-length indefinitely, but she doesn’t know that, yet.

Oh boy and she got really mad at me for laughing at her, too.

Later that day, I was just minding my own dog business, you know: trawling for treats, being especially cute for mommy, etc., and out of nowhere (she was hiding out in mommy’s workout room – sneaky little thing!) BAM! the little sniper hits me with all fours! I’m talking a full on attack! Of course, I immediately launched on her with a good smack-down, a long sniff, and then just walked away like nothing happened.

As if she could snarf on my coolness...no way, poco-loco Churro!

Someone's got to keep an eye on her!

Oh yes, she’s still churring only now it’s all the time! Sometimes when she’s sleeping I just gaze at her. I hear my adopted parents cooing "it’s so cute, sweet Guinness caring for his little sister”. Yeah, right.

Actually, I’m staring at her in complete amazement. How can so much churring come out of that little head of hers?

WWW Puppy Smackdown

Like any savvy pup, I enjoy a good bark, a yummy treat (or two!) and a good game of Frisbee. And don't even get me started on the art of beating other dogs to the tennis ball. What can I say? It's a gift.

I have recently developed a new entertainment package for mommy and daddy that includes Rosie. (Mommy started calling her "Rosie-Roo" and thinks it's just so cute. I need to have a talk with her because this is not cute. No, not all; just embarrassing.)

So maybe I had a little, bitty help from Rosie on this, but if you could see me in action, you'd know it really is all about me.

First, we wait until the adopted parents are relaxing in the front room, most likely reading or watching something on the big TV. Then, Rosie and I come tearing in with a toy and start this friendly neck-nip play...just petty stuff. Then, after we know we have their full attention, we start the WWW PUPPY SMACKDOWN! (The "WWW" stands for 'world wide web', or 'wild-eyed woof-woofs' - take your pick.)

This sport is quite simple. Just grab your challenger by the scruff of the neck and smack her down. I'll act all wimpy sometimes to make Rosie think she's superior... but then I rise up and give her a good smackdown where she's flipped on her back and acting all bothered about life. Ha.


Rosie taking a Smackdown!

Everybody knows I have puppy superpowers, but I actually hold back because my cape would really mess me up. After all, a true superhero can hold his cape.

What's a Churr?

There are some weird noises I've heard in my puppy life; such as the vacuum cleaner, mommy's hair dryer and that game daddy plays on his computer.

But I've never before heard this sound that my little sister Rosie makes. When we’re running around playing with daddy, she’ll just stop, sit down, throw her head back and…churr! It’s this happy sound…and mommy and daddy start this ‘oohing’ and ‘aahing’ over her, which is just not necessary, in my opinion.

I have sniffed her all over. More than once. So, I’m convinced she is not an alien even though she sounds like one when she does that churr sound.


(CLICK HERE to hear what Rosie's Churring sounds like!)



Rosie is my Frisbee Apprentice

So, now I’m teaching her new games, like Frisbee. I try not to use my super puppy powers to fly up and catch it, but there are times I am airborne and this just can’t be helped. Then there’s this tug of war with my toys…she even does this churr-growl!


Growl-Churring for my Toy!

And now she’s churring at me! She’s got my attention!

Running with Rosie

I don’t know where to start. It started with what I thought was a ride to the dog park and ended up with another dog parked next to me in my neat little world. Technically, she’s a puppy. Her name is Rosie and she’s really smart, too.

All this talk about a little sister and how great it would be…well, I’m not so sure about that. What’s all this sharing business that’s been going on. First my toys, then my treats…and then my mommy and daddy!! What’s next? Not cool at all.


Look at Rosie fly!

And just when I think I’ve had enough of this little beast, she starts this wild running around thing that makes me have to chase her. I don’t know what happens, my heart races and I can’t help myself. I see this streak of fur go by and I’m compelled to catch it! Okay, so maybe I’m a little crazy for her, but I’m not telling her that!


Rosie's pretty cool for a sister!

Of course, she can’t fly like I can and she doesn’t have super puppy powers, either. So that means I’ll need to protect her from all the big scary things like trucks and noisy stuff, just like I do for my mommy and daddy.

Just wait until Rosie gets a load of my unfurling cape when I spring to her rescue! Man, will she ever be impressed!